Is Chivalry Dead?
Ask a Question
Held a door open for a lady in store yesterday and got a torrent of accusations of sexism. What happened? When did it become wrong to be courteous? Is chivlary dead and if so how did it die?
I would welcome anyone opening a door for me as a gentleman actually did on Thursday when I was out. I appreciate common courtesy and it will be a sad day if/when chivalry dies.
PaxAmerica, I got a lot of abuse on Wednesday. When I opened the door for a woman in a wheelchair she was swearing at me and calling me racist pig
I told her I was just being polite . She told me to f**k o** and a little w**ker
Jackscot Ouch. Maybe a mental health issue. I feel you buddy. Try not to let it get to you. So long as your intentions are good then thats what matters.
Jackscot wow, that's so weird. I wonder if these types of people would do the same if a woman or child opened the door for them, or just someone who seems less capable of door opening (seriously - some doors can be heavy).
Sometimes I think it's the area people live in that have such unhealthy trends/education/exposure. I've only seen this kind of thing in the news, not in my area. It'll usually be a thanks and move on.
People just have no manners nowadays. I’ll hold a door open if people are behind me etc, sometimes I’ve had people hold doors for me coming in/out shops.
Seems common curtesy is dying out.
I think most people would accept that as a nice gesture and you definitely shouldn’t let one person stop you from doing it.
I hold the door open for women, men, children and animals.
jms19 Love it.... I can picture a duck goin into Tesco as you hold the door for it
I always appreciate doors being held open for me by anyone. Some feminists are extreme. But equally I would also hold a door open for a man if it was sensible. I think it’s a common sense issue. I wouldn’t let a door go in someone’s face. If it was a situation where you are in front and they are completely capable some women may take offence at this. I wouldn’t though.
JLouM Yep, definitely agree. I also think it's just common sense.
Yrs ago though, I kept the door open for a middle-aged/elderly man behind me once, but he was actually a little too far away so he had to do that little awkward run, whilst I awkwardly held the door that was kinda heavy for me, regretting my decision - I made that person run for no reason .
But he thanked me and gave me a massive smile that I still vaguely remember his face.
I appreciate it when someone opens the door and they always get a thank you as I would expect one back when I do the same doesn't happen tho
Yes it is and it's the fault of the feminists. I really don't understand why they are so hard line and make it awful for the rest of us. I personally love it if a man is courteous and I always smile and say thank you.
Leannexxx no offence, but I grew up within the church, so we were told to be peaceful all the time
PaxAmerica if you read the comments above you will see. He just held the door and she called him racist. Tbh if he hadn't held the door she would have had more reason to call him racist.
Jackscot hmm, if she was that offended she could have refused your kind offer and reopened the door herself.
Gosh, that lady was being racist to you.
I have heard in really busy asian countries like Japan, they don't do British courtesy like some thank you's and keeping doors open, but they'd usually be surprised and happy when it happens.
(btw you forgot the @ for tagging names so we don't get a notification from your reply)
Lynibis oh tahnx for that clarification. As I said it could be mental health, you understand how that works right?
hky "Gosh, that lady was being racist to you", how do you figure that out? She may be being a rude ignoramous maybe though
PaxAmerica so sorry but I am really not sure what you meant when you said not sure what you mean by that.
PaxAmerica By calling someone racist, she's pointing out that she's coloured and he's not, whilst abusing him when door opening has nothing to do with race; isn't that racism in itself, even if she's ignorant?
Lots of racism does come from ignorance - most don't know they're being racist.
She's also using racism as a tool to abuse someone.
I personally think when people explode with 'you're racist' with no sound argument, when the other party hasn't really done anything, they're being racist whilst trying to blame someone else for being racist.
(the word 'ignorant' is starting to look funny after ignoramus - I thought people made the word up when I was younger)
PaxAmerica It is also mental health since her brain is evidently unhealthy for exploding anyway
- there's an American doctor that's scanned 100s/1000s of brains that shows the brain is unhealthy for people who act/think badly.
My husband always opens doors for me which I always appreciate. I have no problems anyone opening a door for me. What I do hate is when people ‘drop’ the door on you, no manners.
eyeballkerry Ah, yes, the door drop - I hate it when it's a heavier door and also ones you can't tell if it's push or pull - it's probably both but I'm too weak to do either so I greatly appreciate anyone opening the door - it also saves me from embarrassment .
hky That is embarrassing when you push and it should be a pull. Why can’t all doors be automatic, be so much easier.
No chivalry is not dead, not to me anyway, I always hold doors open ect.. blame the snowflakes
As I man I never know what to do for the best anymore , last year I gave up my seat on a train to a lady stood with bags, and rather than accept the seat, she made me feel like I was doing something wrong by offering it . I find it's just best not to bother at all now, some women like it. others think your patronizing and others are just defensive and rude .
Mango I know, some are so ungrateful or find offence but we are not all like that. I would definitely appreciate it. Maybe before giving up your seat just ask then they can either accept or refuse and you won’t lose your seat if refused. It must be confusing trying to do the right thing.
As a woman, I wouldn't expect someone to hold the door open for me just because of my gender. However, it is still a nice gesture and I would smile and say thank you. Personally, I would hold the door open for anyone, male or female, young or old. There is no need for rudeness.
Ah, Chivalry is not dead... You continue being a gentleman. You made the mistake of thinking you were holding the door open for a 'lady'!
I keep doors open for everyone after me...
Be you! You're perfect! Not your fault if others aren't!
Some chap opened a door in front of me once and I thanked him.He just launched back with a tirade of foul invective calling me fat and old and that he didn't do it for me!I hold doors open for men and women and still call men Sir if I don't know them.Some of us out here still respect kind thoughtful behaviour the rest can take a hike.
I don't think it's wrong to be courteous. I appreciate things like having a door held open as a nice gesture!
Some people will always be on the look out for things to upset them. Best to ignore them as most people are greatful for having doors held open for them. To me its just natural to hold doors open for anyone - regardless of gender / age etc.
Join for free to get genuine deals, money saving advice and help from our friendly community
Chief Bargain Hunter