To Hug or Not to Hug
In the News
It's a minefield isn't it? If you're a hugger it can be hard to know if others welcome hugs or hate their space being invaded.
Someone on gmb was proclaiming that men over 50 should not hug as it's creepy. I don't believe it is a black and white option, there are many shades of grey. All my family hug each other when we meet/depart. With my sons it is almost like a role reversal and i feel loved and protected as they are strapping lads and i only reach their shoulders, they are 48 and 50. I have a gay friend who is over 50 and a great hugger but strangely enough my bestie, of 40 years standing, and i have only hugged once, and that was when her daughter died.
If over 50s are single/widowed they may really need a hug occasionally, we are all human, but it is also important to read the signals and only hug if you want to and feel it will be welcome.
Rather than removing the persons choice to be hugged or not I prefer to use body language. Holding my arms out slightly and asking 'dy'a wanna hug?' or merely the gesture itself is often enough. This makes it so much easier than asking if the receipient might be 'offended' and totally takes away outside judgement as the receipient chooses to accept or not.
EmmaWright762 I agree but sometimes you can feel rejected if you hold out your arms and the other person says no or steps away. It may cause an atmosphere. You are right we must all rely on body language. I seem to know when a hug would be appreciated, or not, and would never hug a stranger upon introduction. However, if I spent an evening in their company and got on like a house on fire I would certainly not be averse to a goodbye hug. Hugging can break down barriers and make people feel valued.
I hug my kids and my partner that's it I can't say I'm a hugger myself but I wouldn't be bothered if someone wanted to hug me one thing I did hate was having people putting their hands on my belly when I was pregnant I don't know why tho
I'm not a hugger and I don't like to be hugged either, apart from my kids of course , I met up with an old friend last year, he went to hug me, hell no lol...
martinlufc5637 I perfectly understand that for some people it's a no no and must admit I am choosy about who i am happy to be hugged by.
I love hugs. My youngest 2 children always hug me but my eldest doesn't anymore but loves cuddling up watching movies. I hug several friends too.
I hate when children get made to hug relatives they don't feel comfortable hugging though
Imnotcheap even worse when made to kiss them! I am sure your eldest will start hugging again when older.
Lynibis agree with the kiss part.
I know she loves me even without a hug that's what matters most
I don't mind people I know going in for a hug but not a fan of hugging random people
ChelsieLou90 no me neither. I think the only time it's a problem for me is in a mixed social group where you know some well enough for a hug but others you have never met you don't want to.
Apart from family in my home I only hug people who I haven’t seen for a while. I meet my mum everyday for a walk but we only hug when either of us is going away for a while and then when we return.
With me it very much depends on the situation and context. If I’m very upset about something and it’s a sympathy hug I welcome it. I don’t like just hugging generally though if it’s not someone close to me. I find it a bit odd.
I'm definitely a hugger, I'm a P.A/Carer and l always hug all my elderly clients and they absolutely love and it and tell me it makes their day 
Pinkspirit good for you. I read an article once about how these elderly people who have no close relatives suffer from lack of human touch. It was saying that even chatting whilst massaging their hands with some nice hand cream is helpful. I used to volunteer and visited a bed bound lady and she was really happy for me to massage her lower legs and feet as her carers never had time (no fault of their own) to do it.
I feel sorry for anyone who thinks every man over 50 is a creep, since there’s a hell of a lot of them about.
Hugging is a tough one to be fair.
I'm not a big hugger but know and all but instinctively feel that some people need hugs so do it anyway.I seldom linger lol though.It becomes creepy else.
MelissaLee1 I agree and could never watch someone who is upset and not give a hug, never yet been rejected.
When I worked with kids on transport they would often get attached and would run to you spontaneously for a hug. Although it is not encouraged I would never reject a child who flung their arms around me, I didn't care about the tut tutting, we were all dbs vetted and there were always other adults around.
I hug my husband, our son, my mother in law, my parents and my 2 best friends. My parents always ask my son if they can have a hug, which I think is nice as they are giving him the option and they respect his decision. I don't mind being hugged, if it is a friend or family member then it is fine but I wouldn't want someone I didn't know hugging me.
Personally, I’m a hugger. I have lots of friends that are also huggers. But, I have a few that really don’t like that kind of contact. It all depends on the person really. I don’t get offended by my friends not wanting to hug me.
PayItForward quite right, no need to be offended, we are all different and lots depends on how we are raised too.
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