A Sensitive Chat Topic - Verbal Abuse
Other
Feeling so down at the moment and wanted to ask how you deal with it? Wouldn’t wish it on anyone and if you go through the same thing I just want to say you have done nothing wrong and you are not alone.
Creating this chat topic that’s on the sensitive side and we are all anonymous on here so feel free to air out your anger on here if you want to and hope getting it off your chest makes you feel better! 
Sending all my love 
to those of you if you sadly have experienced this and bullying
Sounds terrible. Hope you’re ok? Luckily I don’t need to deal with this situation. Hope you can get help somewhere if you need it. xx
for asking though, yeah thinking to get help 
not spoken to a doctor about it and these days hard to even get an appointment 
Sending you best wishes and hope you're able to get help if you think it's needed 
I agree - you have done nothing wrong and you are not alone.
Take good care 
thanks 
you take care too~ 
This is a delicate topic and although you are right about our anonymity it will still colour the image others have of us in previous and subsequent chats.
Obviously you are the object of abuse and strangely I had noticed your comments becoming angrier and was wanting to ask if you were ok, but did not want to poke the hornets nest.
So I will risk skimming over my experience of being married to an abuser (physical and mental), and hope I am able to advise you after.
I found out my ex had 8/10 of the characteristics of a psychopath and I truly believed I would meet my end at his hands. It could be calm one minute and his dinner flying across the room the next. I was called a (hore), my lips too thin, hair too thick, I made him hit me (his reasoning) and was pinned to the floor with a screwdriver poking my chest. Enough of that, what of you? Is the abuse physical, is he a drunk, and does he love you? Believe me, you know even when he weeps how sorry he is.
If you feel there is hope and it is only verbal I would suggest writing him a letter telling him how he makes you feel. He should read it when he is alone and you have gone out. Men often shrug off insults, swearing etc and probably think we do too, not realising it pierces our hearts.
If however, things are worse my only and urgent advice is to get out NOW, he will not change and in years to come you will ask yourself why you wasted your precious time on earth with him. No more at the moment.
You hadn't written family when I wrote above but I will leave it for others who may need to read it. If it is family and you don't live with them easy to solve, if you do, not so easy. But move out if you possibly can, even a flat share.
kitty88uk when someone speaks out as in your topic it is only natural to assume it is a partner. None of us know you so family wouldn't necessarily be the first assumption but a partner would, I am assuming you are very young then, but you may be a 40 plus. Working in the dark here.
The letter suggestion could work as the trick is to lay the guilt in a subtle way but not be overly accusatory. You must come across as being the injured party and it is causing you to be angry and depressed. I won't say anymore as in an effort to help I feel I have upset you.
kitty88uk there was no way for a woman to leave back then (70s) and he was a copper so managed to tell them all I was a mad woman. In the end he left me for a 21 year old. Still got lots of hate but finally started living again when he went to Australia. He held a gun to the head of his second wife!
Lynibis omg 
can’t believe that he is police and what he did over there! How did you find out was it on the news? Must have been arrested and in jail?
Absolutely disgusting behaviour not even human!
I’m being called mental need to be taken to a hospital, saying I’m fat look like a pig sayinf said this did that gaslighting
kitty88uk that is all nasty stuff and just as hard to live with.
He was thrown out of police after threatening to kill me, me and the kids were taken to a safe house until they brought him in and then taken home. No action as he didn't actually do anything. He wasn't a copper in Oz and the incident wasn't reported. I heard about it when his wife came back to England and in a strange twist of fate I registered both her babies with her 2nd husband. We shared an experience so understood each other.
Lynibis yes it’s not nice whatsoever! I’m really sorry you went through an awful time and you have kids too are they still young or all grown up now? Damn! Nothing was done?! That’s crazy! Thank goodness both families are all safe now! If you don’t mind me asking how long ago was this when you made decision to leave with your kids? And how did you get help
kitty88uk as I said he was the one who left after he met the 21yr old. I was forced to sell up and after his share was able to put a deposit on a flat. Had many hard years. This was in 80s and my boys are now 50 and 48.....I am 70 and to be honest living my best life now. Recently had first great grandchild.
that’s great for you! Congratulations 
on your first grandchild! kitty88uk ha ha GREAT grandchild, my oldest grandchild is 30. Two sons, 2 lovely daughters in law and 3 grand children.
Hope you are feeling better this morning, rise above the cruel ones and try to be proactive, most of all try not to let them get to you. A good tactic may be to totally ignore them when they insult, respond only when they speak normally.
Your life is yours. Live it the way you want to and enjoy the things in life that you can.
You would cut a rotton bit off an apple - sad to say its the same with family. It will be difficult to begin with- but if there are family who treat you like that then cut them out and be honest and tell them why.
My thoughts are with you every step of the way - but you deserve happiness xxxx
I'm sorry to hear you are going through a tough time. Do you live with the family members who are doing this? If so is it possible to move out? I know that isn't easy and might not be an option. I hope you are able to get help with the situation you are in. No one should be verbally or physically abused.
MrsCraig thinking to get help
You know how we earn vouchers on here and I said bought some snacks using amazon vouchers they are kept in a box in living room
Plenty of snacks on one side of room near doorway huge box packs of crisps
Yet sh*t dad goes to my box in middle of room takes peanuts and opens to eat saying hiding foods wtf 
no place to put them
Yelling has everything right to eat it saying don’t earn money do I earn it through prostitution didn’t know mine bullsh*t
Eating non stop all day
Even bags of clothes I left on sofa to take to charity has been rummaged through
All this time never happened
Sh*t eats out of boredom
Saying raises my voice threatening to slap me saying not in right mind saying I’m mental be taken to hospital barrage of abuse calling out on body size saying fat look like a pig
Kept poking head I said stop it yelling call the police then
Mum got yelled for watering plants but the pots didn’t have holes at bottom small things takes it out of context and started yelling abuse at her too with swearing
kitty88uk Yikes, that's a very toxic environment you and your mom are in, times are tough so it's understandable families live together nowadays, but at some point it becomes unlivable to be under the same roof as that other individual who makes your life so hard and stressful.
Try to make a plan to live somewhere else far away from him and there's help which GPs tend to have info on about. I'll guess you're around 36 based on the '88' number, right? Don't waste your life with people like that.
kitty88uk Sure, it's not needed, that's more than plenty. Try to find somewhere else to live and that he doesn't find your new address unless you want him to, at some point in life.
PhilipMarc thanks for taking time to reply back and trying to help you don’t know how much it means to me, getting teary 
lol
kitty88uk I don't know your situation, but remember GPs and Job Centres may be able to help you if needed (not sure if Citizens Advice could be of assistance). Just try to keep calm and unstressed during those times.
Say, you don't have a boyfriend to stay with him temporarily or so?
Look at your possible options, plan to move, and then eventually pack your stuff. Ideally move it out when he's out.
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