Should We Fear Death?
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Why Does Western Society Fear Death so Much?
After losing people I realised that in the west we take death as such a tragedy. When I think its just something natural and enevitabel so why do we act like its such a terrible thing? Yes we miss people. But death otherwise is part of life as much as being born, eating drinking, gravity, th euniverse....
Should we rethink death the way it is thought of in some parts of South America and in Asia?
I absolutely agree. Death is part of life and shouldn't be a tabo subject, the fact is we will all die that is part of the natural cycle. Not talking about it won't stop it happening
Well, it does happen to everyone, it's unavoidable! What I don't like is that people say someone has 'passed'. Passed what, passed the dentist on the way to the supermarket? Death is very final and there are often things you wished you had said or done, or visited more but you can't and nothing can change that. We should be teaching people to deal with death in a healthy way rather than despairing. Celebrate the life that was, be thankful that that person was in your life and made your life better.
I don’t like thinking about it but of course it happens to everyone. It’s very personal when you have a bereavement but I do think we should be able to to talk about it more naturally than we do. I tried to talk about things once with family but we all got upset crying so it achieved nothing. I find it better to deal with things myself. I think it’s hard to know what to say to someone who has recently had a loss to say the right things.
If someone dies of a natural death, ie, age I can fully accept it and that is all part of life. But when someone is taken too early then it is totally different in my world.
I think some people fear death, because it is the fear of the unknown. Nobody, is able to try to put into words what exactly, or how it happens. This is my opinion, I don't think it's the fear of death itself, but the fear of the unknown.
Nobody has ever returned from the dead to tell you what happened to them, or share their personal experience. There are some people who say they have had, out of body experiences. Some find it exciting, some find it too scary and overwhelming.
I don't fear it, I don't think about it, it's part of life, it is what it is, nothing you can do about it
I fear it but only because I want to be around for as long as I can for my kids that's the only reason
Fear? No, It's more about if it's going to be peaceful or painful, imo.
This guy below couldn't sleep much as he tried so finally dying allowed him to peacefully rest.
Death by natural cause is hopefully the way l will go and quick, but to go in pain, drown, fire etc scares the hell out of me but l also wonder what happens when l die...ghosts, demons, evil spirits, is there an afterlife...
Death is inevitable but it depends if I’m suffering a terminal illness or just in constant pain. I do believe we should have the right to choose euthanasia.
Everything fears death, you only have to look at animals even tiny insects that will run from danger. It's instinctive behaviour. No one wants to die normally unless their quality of life is very low due to health or other issues. Death is a horrible thing when a person's life comes to an end and all their thoughts and experiences end with them. There is often an emotional vacuum for those who were close to them. I can't really think of anything positive about death unless it is an end of suffering. I think its good to go through life without thinking about death too much. You don't want your days of life to be spoilt by thinking about death for yourself or others you love. You know its coming but it makes no sense to dwell on it.
I know people who have religion and they believe they are going to a paradise after death and that is great for them to be honest, they can live their life with that belief. I sadly don't live in that situation I'm almost 100% certain death is the end of everything for an individual so my best tactic is to avoid thinking about it. There is no way I can prepare for it just something I have to deal with at the time.
BonzoBanana I am reluctant to say this for fear of ridicule but i am going to anyway
I recently had an experience that now 100% makes me believe there is something after death
Before i wasn't certain, now i am , i won't relate what it was as it is extremely personal
Since it happened it has made me a happier person and i feel more at peace about those i have lost and what the future holds for me
I would just say i am not particularly religious or a believer in anything supernatural or similar , or some nutjob
I wish others could have a similar encounter just to take away the stress and worry about their future
telmel I'm certainly happy for you that you have had that experience and even if its wrong (which I'm not saying it is) it brings you comfort. For a long time while not religious I've pondered about this being a virtual existence as there is so much supporting evidence for it. Yes there is more evidence that it is a physical existence but still its quite possible we are living in a virtual existence. The universe will last for trillions of years and yet by sheer luck we are living in a time where there is still great abundance in the world for billions of people even if that time is coming to an end. I do wonder what the real world will be like if it is a virtual existence. It could be an existence far in the future where resources are low and we fight terrible wars which is why people want to live in the virtual past where life is simpler and no alien enemies to deal with. It still feels to me completely wrong that we are not aware of other alien races in the universe either signals or even visiting aliens. It feels like a flaw in the virtual simulation in order to make the simulation less horrible and more enjoyable. I also wonder if the aliens we do hear of as unconfirmed news reports are actually humans of the future. Small weak humanoid creatures with big eyes and genderless feels like something humans will become. So occasionally a few naughty future humans just enter the simulation in remote areas just to scare a few people.
So I'm not without a little hope for a existence beyond death.
telmel people only ever dwell on the bad things in life and blame whatever deity for allowing it. What about all the miraculous things that happen, do they give credit? I often think too hard but my argument is: We all have thoughts, emotions and instincts. Where do they come from as they are non organic and cannot be touched or felt as other parts of a dead body. I have to believe in something more because so many folk suffer their whole lives that it seems to me a living hell and can only be better after death as thoughts and feelings cannot feel pain.
Lynibis I think intellect and emotions evolved within the physical world just like the changing physical attributes of animals through time. I think emotions serve a purpose in nature protecting your young for example. Nature is horrifically cruel. Animals are chased, ripped apart and consumed which are unbelievable horrors of the natural world. Sometimes such animals are pregnant which are chased and killed and nature doesn't care at all. There is no morality to nature, animals are just trying to survive. We live apart from nature pretty much so we perhaps have too romantic a view of it.
A feral cat is frightened and aggressive and everyday is a fight to stay alive. A domestic cat lazes about, has free food and shelter and lives a life perhaps 3-4x longer than its wild counterpart. If a deity did create the natural world I don't consider it a compassionate deity. I saw a bear rescue a bird once in a video. The bird was struggling in the water and the bear lifted it out of the water to help it. Empathy and compassion does exist in nature but its a very rare thing. The more intelligent an animal becomes the more extreme its range of actions from great kindness to great evil.
telmel I have witnessed so much over the years, particularly when I have been caring for people who were in the last stage of life, but my first experience of 'something beyond' occurred days after my father died when I was six years old. Absolutely no ridicule from this direction, I agree with you.
telmel That's excellent news.I too have had personal encounters that shake off doubt nor was I always a believer.
Of course death is a part of life but it’s understandable why people fear it. For me personally I’m not really fearful of my own death, but i am scared of when my close friends and family go.
We all got born so we all die. Once it’s done it’s done I suppose but it’s just not nice thinking about it. Live while you can.
How does western society fear death in comparison to other parts of the world?
How do some parts of South America and Asia view it?
I don't see how other parts of the world don't fear or find death a kind of tragedy - especially if it's not old age.
Sure, people all are hurt losing loved ones. I am talking about the fear element hky
PaxAmerica I don't really see how western fear death more than other places though. Western people don't go out of their way and avoid everything that could harm them. In fact, I think they're actually pretty open to experiencing all sorts if there's the chance and money. Even in covid and now - lots of people are like 'it's just a cold' compared to those who are doing all sorts for the hope of survival.
I find that the western care about the lack of freedom more than death.
There's a person in my area that does fear death that he doesn't go on trains and aeroplanes, but most people still live their lives even if they fear death.
I have incurable cancer and its not death that scares me - its the manner of death that makes me fearful. I have a living will as such. I dont want to be kept alive on tubes etc. i would rather just be let go please
suevernon1968 My heart goes out to you S , i can only relate from what i have glimpsed that life will not end in darkness , i don't fully understand what happened or why but i hope that thought will help you when the time comes
telmel i have just learned now to take every day as a gift. I also have a cracking sense of humour which helps. I never use the word terminal - its just temporarily incurable! X
Its the people that i leave behind that gets to me as i know how upset i have been when someone dies
My Nan died when I was young and I got left with death anxiety, it really affected me. I am scared of death because it is final, unknown and I hate to imagine total darkness or non existence. The fear of others dying too is unbearable, especially my partner because she is literally the only person who understands me. For a lot of people it is just a fact of life, which yes it is but it is still scary. I know we can’t all live forever! I just have hope that we are either reborn or something, I don’t know.
HappyComperZoe Please look at it this way. You didn't exist for millennia before you were born. I totally agree with you about fearing the loss of others, especially your partner. It sounds like you've hit the jackpot with her!
HappyComperZoe You sound like a good soul. A very caring individual. I feel it is people like you who have good emotions that gives the world a sort of beauty. Life definitely is a emotional roller coaster, sometimes caused by just our own inner thoughts.
I don’t fear my own death as like of others have already said it’s a natural part of life, although I do wish we knew the date of when it was going to be so we could plan as there are things I’m planning to do in retirement and if I got there and suddenly died, I’d would have spent all my life working and then just be gone. The only death I fear is my father’s as I thought about this the other day he’s 77 and I thought that I might have less than 10 years with him, he’s in good health as and my gran lived till 94 but he’s my world as I’m not that close to my mum and I don’t have a partner, even now writing this makes me cry thinking that I don’t know how much time I’ve actually got left with him and in reality it might not be a long time, you just don’t know.
Gromit22 That is a lot of thought gone into your reponse. That means you clearly holds the relationship with your father dear. I think you never lose that even in death. The relationship existed and thats printed forever time and space, even after loss. I really appreciate you sharing this and wish you many years ahead with your father too.
Having worked with dying people for the majority of my life, I'm well aware that there's such a thing as 'a good death'. It's my opinion that we need to be far more open about what our end of life should be like. Personally, I have informed my family that I would be willing to accept any amount of pain relief possible even if it would shorten my life span.
AlysonC Defintely the dignity aspect needs to been discussed nationally as I would not want to go through pain if there was no hope of recovery. Esther Ransen has made news with this recently and I am with her. We need to debate this seriously and openly. Great point AlysonC
PaxAmerica A few nights ago, I went to a talk by Anthropologist Professor Alice Roberts. She tackled this subject at the end as she's Vice president of the Humanist Society. It's her opinion that when all of the checks and balances are sorted, it's on the horizon.
Sadly, I witnessed a change with how GPs felt able to help dying people following the Shipman case, so this would be welcomed from me.
AlysonC you are a very special person to work with dying people. It takes a special soul to do so. You have my deepest respect and admiration x
suevernon1968 thank you. I would say that it's a privilege to support people during that time, especially near the end. It can be especially frightening for friends and family, many of whom haven't experienced death and dying before, so being able to inform them of what to expect and enable them to stay close without fear has been particularly satisfying. Something I found interesting though, was that frequently, people took their last breath when their loved ones left the room for a short while. Maybe it's something they needed to do alone, or perhaps they were staying for the sake of their family?
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