Why Do These People Keep Having Kids?
Other
Parents make horrifying threats to their own children
Entitled kids shock supernanny
Manipulative kids treat mom as a doormat
10 kids:Jo visits her biggest family ever
Parents favour their daughter over their son
Authoritarian mum can't compete with fun dad
Above are just a few samples of supernanny episodes. I used to watch her many, many years ago and was mesmerised by how easily she could bring discipline, love and order to homes. Just lately I have been watching a lot of newer episodes on youtube and she hasn't lost her touch.
Some of these families live in battlegrounds full of chaos, anger, frustration and exhaustion, but many have 5, 6 or even 10 kids, what is wrong with these parents!? One couple had 2 x twins aged 3 and 5, all still in nappies, drinking from bottles and younger set still refusing food and eating pureed baby food.
More and more I am thinking would-be parents should have parentcraft lessons before popping out kids they can't cope with!
jam45 you might be right. I know they didn't have 22 when the series started. They had a few after the show started so 14 is probably right. I've seen the mum in the papers claiming they don't have money but they can afford to take them all to Disney in Florida. They would need to be rich to afford that many. I'm pretty sure she has a grandchild round about the same age as her youngest child.
I won't lie with my first child I gave in to her for a easy life lol biggest mistake I made I soon changed that tho
Leannexxx this is one of he greatest quandaries in modern life. Back in the day families were not so insular and would often have aunts, uncles, grandparents etc living under one roof. This especially benefited women as there was always another woman to help with child care, housework and most importantly TALK to, hence less depression and not having to spend all day alone with a new baby. Advice was freely given and taken and this set up worked, although of course there were always dysfunctional families.
Now, however, it is taboo to offer advice with it being considered as interfering, then we wonder why there are so many depressed mums and unhappy children often to the point of being taken into care.
I get very upset at the state of the world in every respect these days. Certainly won't be sorry when my time is up.
Lynibis no don't say that it was only because I had the midwife only and to be honest I wasn't having someone who didn't have children myself telling me what to do lol I know if my mother would have been alive she would have had something to say my dad did say something but he would always be working when I was a kid and said my mother raised us and he would work so he didn't know alot different times I guess every new parent has to learn what's right for them some tho just don't have a clue and are not ready to grow up
Lynibis I watched a documentary about families. In some cultures when a lady has given birth and comes home from the hospital her mother or mother in law will move into the home to help out. This gives the mother time to recover from the birth and catch up on some sleep if she wants to . The grandparent isn't there to take over but just be there if needed . I know some Mums wouldn't want to miss out any moment with their newborn but there are other tasks that still need doing at home. The cooking, cleaning and general day to day running of the house can be done or helped with by extra pair of hands . Also if the new mum does require help with the baby and ASKS for it , help is at hand.
These days women feel the pressure to be super woman. I've heard of some mums giving birth and going back to work few days later! Child birth is strenuous and your body needs time to recover from the pregnancy and birth. Your body has grown a tiny baby , nourished it taking everything it needed from your body . Then when baby feel it's time , the birthing process begins and your body goes through a lot to deliver your baby healthy (fingers crossed). Your body needs to adjust and recover . I can't see why anyone would feel strong enough to go back to work days later . Having said that running your home is a full time job itself so accept all the help offered to you . If you feel someone is taking over just politely let them know that you feel like that . Most people are genuinely trying to help out and don't want you to feel that they are taking over or criticising you . Also after all you've been through with being pregnant and giving birth you may be a bit more sensitive and take things to heart that weren't meant that way .
Lynibis thank you for taking the time to reply. I was a little worried about how my comments would be taken as everyone has their own beliefs and way of doing things. However we can all do with a little help from time to time. It doesn't make us less of a person , it makes us human. It's a lovely experience to be blessed with a baby but it's no easy task. They don't have rule books issued at birth , they can't tell you why they are distressed(when they are ) so communicate by crying . They can pick up on their parents stress which in course makes them more stressed that's why I think we should all take any help that's on offer. Also offer your help to new parents . It might be just what's needed as post partum stress (baby blues) is so much more common than thought but it's swept under the carpet as people expect super woman. Like the saying goes "it takes a village to raise a child" .
My advice would be to listen to all advice offered (you may never use it but it's good to have opinions). Everyone is different so what worked for your friends may not work for you . Try to stay stress free (harder said than done) and enjoy motherhood. But don't suffer in silence, if you're struggling say so. Remember you've just given life to a baby who could grow up to change the world . You've done an amazing thing , but yourself some slack .
Nickyhaslam77 I am on my great grandchild now and happy to say all the children have been well brought up, 2 sons, 3 grandchildren and now great grandson. Never a problem with any of them. I think you mostly just muddle through with babies but there comes a time when boundaries need to be set.
Then we're a bit more clued up with the next one/s. xx
In this time of global warming with England having a very high population density the benefit system should discourage having children. It really should be 'one or none'. Of course people can have more but they should be expected to pay for it themselves rather than the state. We are approaching double the maximum realistic population for England with regards infrastructure and being able to feed ourselves i.e. food security. Social housing should only be big enough for one child. I.e. a 2 bedroom house or flat. So again if they want a larger home they should pay for it themselve. It's all about being realistic and what is the right thing to do for the economy and the environment.
BonzoBanana you echo my sentiments exactly, you have probably seen previous comments I have made on the subject of population. However, I was more angry in this topic by these families who live in total misery, chaos and bad relationships purely because there own inadequate parenting has meant their kids are out of control........but they go on having more exacerbating the problem.
Lynibis It probably provides financial security by having more children because that is how the benefit system works especially with regards social housing.
BonzoBanana I should have mentioned, very remiss of me to not mention, but many of these are American although there are British series too, she is British. It seems all the American families have 4 or more kids, often 6, and even 10.
Lynibis I did try to have a quick look on how the US benefit system works for chidren and appears to be a system of tax credits and looks quite complex and if you don't earn enough for the tax credits you seem to get some money back instead. Looks like it could be generous if you are doing a basic low paid job but maybe not as generous if you aren't working. I dread to think how those in the US would pay for medical treatment who are low earners or unemployed. Typically I think its a great country to be rich or middle income but terrible to be poor in, its like a third world country in that regard with horrific crime rates in the poorest areas. I've seen what can only be described as anarchy in parts of new york where crime is rife and the police aren't interested, we seem to be going that way ourselves in some areas as our parts of Europe including France.
BonzoBanana For one minute I thought I was reading about China. Your personal views are totally unrealistic. Have you never heard of The Human Rights Act? And the greedy lawyers who stands up for the rights of the underclass? The parents of those kids should be taught compulsory childcare, and that their children must attend a nursery school for them to keep their benefits. But I can't see that happening ever. At least 50% of those type of parents and their children are "damaged" by both the previous labour government and the present conservative Government.
jam45 Sorry can you clarify which of my personal views are totally unrealistic? I can't think of anything I've written that is unrealistic especially for a bankrupt nation with horrific debts that means just servicing that debt is Β£120 billion a year or more without actually paying any of the debt of. We also pay out about Β£50 billion to private landlords for rent for low income people. These figures are completely unsustainable. What a country can provde is related to its ability to pay, its pointless going on about the Human Rights Act if you simply can't afford to follow it. You do what you can but ultimately its down to ability to pay.
I think most people are quoting the human rights act in combination with the rights of people to stay in the UK with regard immigration and that really is the only bit of the human rights act that is difficult but again its completely unrealistic to expect England which is grossly overpopulated to take more people same as Japan, Belgium, Netherlands etc. There are countries with huge capacity to take more citizens like Australia, Canada, US, Russia etc. We also have had immigration where clearly the people are economic migrants and often such migrants have horrific views on the rights of others including women, gay people, non-religious people or different religions. So we have immigration of people that completely disagree with the human rights act fundamentally. In fact islam as a religion has dark undertones like the fact Muhammad married a 6 or 7 year old girl and kept slaves and this isn't in anyway debatable it is historically factual. We have to be realistic about our population density and ultimately reduce it over time plus be realistic and not idealistic about which people can come into the UK. I think we should set a realistic population for the UK and work towards it over time and this could be a sub 40 million figure. This clearly would mean overall negative immigration and a lower birth rate. This might mean higher retirement ages and other changes but the environment and economy is in crisis.
Back in 2017 there were 25,000 extremists in the UK and other 500 people that needed constant monitoring and from what I understand those figures have doubled in the last 8 years but later data has been suppressed. It's not PC to discuss it but its a huge problem that is growing. I'm totally against not facing up to the reality of the situation. All information should be factored in and if that means very little or no immigration from certain countries due to high risk to the general population then so be it. It should be pointed out many muslim countries do not produce extremists however those tend to be muslim countries which have less migration anyway.
Immigration is only going to get worse, global warming is destroying the climate of many hotter countries, there is going to be more deserts, more crop failure and more land lost to rising sea levels. We just have to come up with a robust immigration policy to suit our circumstances because there will be more migration out of many countries anyway. There is far less food going to be available in the coming years, more of the UK needs to be used for growing crops to feed ourselves, we will need food security in the coming years.
BonzoBanana I only agree with your last paragraph regarding the future of this country. The government is the problem of housing all these immigrants who phone their friend saying, "Come to England and get free money and housing." And their so-called greedy shameless money-making lawyers who tells them to say that their lives are into danger if they are sent back.
BonzoBanana there's another way stop letting people in and using our system for a lot of issues in your comment
I personally think some of it is staged for the TV cameras just like a Gordon Ramsay TV show.
jam45 you have a point but if you watch the episodes you will see parents totally ignoring the children as they just don't know how to respond, as in the case where an older child punched a younger sibling in the head, several running round the room like little demons, kicking and smashing things and having meltdowns if discipline is imposed. One toddler had damaged her vocal chords because she screamed so much and an older child would not give up his dummy and his whole mouth area was red raw. Children swearing and kicking, and punching parents, one calling his mother a stupid, fat b*tch. I can assure you it was not for the cameras, unlike stuff like love island, Ramsay etc.
I find the behaviour of children and parents alike is getting very bad. My parents never punished us by smacking us. My mum would have "a chat" with us about whatever we had done to be in trouble. She would talk very calmly and expected the same from us. If we were angry at the time she would tell us to go to our room and come back when we had calmed down.
I will never swear or cuss in front of my parents even now as a grown up man. I knew the rules, what was acceptable and if I broke them I knew my mum would find out. She only needed to give me the look of disappointment and I would feel so bad, there was no need to hit me because nothing was worse than knowing I'd upset my mom. She would deal with the situation there and then, tell me what the consequences would be and that was end of it (unless I was grounded, lol). But these days parents are either too rough or not tough enough, letting their children rule the house.
St3v3cunn1961 your mum sounds wonderful and obviously had the balance just right. If only all parents had such natural instincts on raising kids. I find it hard to believe that a tiny bundle is given over to parents who haven't a clue how to raise it. We used to have parent craft lessons at school. My sister worked for social services and is now a foster carer, the stories I have heard have horrified me.
Lynibis she is so humble too. Her and my dad are not together anymore but are best friends. They talk daily and are closer now separated than they ever were. My father has two young boys from another relationship that he had after separating from my mother. My dad has had custody of the boys since they were little and my mom often babysat them. She buys them birthday and Christmas presents. They ring her up if they have a problem that they feel only she will know how to solve. A lot of her criticised my mum asking why she goes to all that trouble for children she has no blood relation to. She simply answers "they are my children's brothers and didn't ask to be born into an uncertain situation. They are innocent children who are indeed related to me through my children.". The relationship they have is very strong and they often pop into see my mother to see she's OK. She didn't for one minute question that she would be there for my half brothers and finds it strange that people question her over it
St3v3cunn1961 your comment gladdens my heart, if only everyone could be as caring and giving as your mum. So much hatred in so many broken relationships.
Lynibis it's so true. I grew up thinking everyone was the same. I didn't realise just how lucky I am. I can honestly say I trust my mother whole heartedly. I would never feel the need to question anything she said to me. If she rang me now and told me that she went for a walk and the grass on the park was growing in a strange colour. It was bright pink, I would believe her. She has told one lie in her life and that was when she was 17 (young and foolish, her words not mine. Because I never see her as foolish). To this day she regrets it and it was a small lie. She needed to borrow some money of a relative and wasn't exactly honest about what or was for. It wasn't anything dodgy but as this family member wasn't a fan of my Dad she didn't tell the entire truth about why she needed the money. She paid it back on time but she still feels bad about that small white lie after all these years.
What annoys me about her though is she doesn't ask anyone for anything and finds or hard to accept when people want to give her anything or help her in any way. She will give anyone anything to help them but finds it hard accepting help.
Its funny because on most Sundays she cooks the dinner at my sisters house (my sister and her husband often have to work weekends). Anyway she cooks nearly 20 dinners! She cooks for my sister, her husband and their 3 children. She cooks for my Dad and his two sons(who I mentioned previously, they are no blood relation to her), then she cooks for my brother and his family, myself and herself. My Dad lives 15 doors down the road to my sisters house so my mum and one of my nieces or nephews will be seen walking the short distance to my Dad's house with 3 plates of dinner and the gravy on a container for them to pour themselves. My parents have been separated over 20 years but you will never hear any of them speak a bad word about the other. If everyone was this way how happier the world would be
St3v3cunn1961 your mother is certainly a rarity today. Your last sentence couldn't be truer.
Lynibis thank you for your kind reply. I will be sure to show my mum because I like her to know how much I appreciate her and know how great she is, even if she doesn't. It is such a shame that everyone doesn't act and feel this way. After all "manners do not cost anything!". I thought I'd add one of my mums pearls of wisdom to the conversation. Lol
Can't believe people watch that trash, tbh.
People who can't afford shouldn't have kids regardless of their background.
PhilipMarc silly thing to say Philip, if more useless parents watched they would learn how to have a calm and happy home. The results Jo gets are miraculous and when she leaves the home is 100% better for having had her help.
Every first time parents should have compulsory parenting lessons during pregnancy and watch some of these episodes which teach discipline without anger or violence.
Agree with your second sentence.
PhilipMarc you do know situations change? I was working full time when I was pregnant but had to give up work because of a difficult pregnancy so then I couldn't afford to do it
I have never understood why anyone can have a baby but when you go to a dog rescue place you have to go through loads of questions, paperwork and pay. So many people get turned down trying to get a rescue dog but hey ho have a baby no problem.
Lynibis Plus they want to come round and check your house. Children can live anywhere!
I hope you realise that this and many other types of TV are manufactured. A script is written and they have people appropriate each scene. I know you are going to say how can get make babies to perform on cue, but they're quite prepared to do lots of takes to get the scenes they want. Sorry if this is a spoiler. But if you know, you know.
EmmaWright762 no one would sit by and tell very young kids to punch ten bells out of each other. I have seen kids kick siblings in the head causing the younger one to scream in pain before an adult notices. I am not stupid enough to think every part of it is natural but you need to watch a few before deciding. These parents are often highly embarrassed and unable to discipline or use techniques until shown, they would not display this to the world without really needing help.
One family had two sets of twins aged 3 and 5. All 4 were still in nappies, drinking from bottles, and younger ones still eating pureed baby food because it was easier for the academic parents. By the end all four sat at the table eating normal food and drinking from cups and older two no longer in nappies.
It winds me up people popping them out and donβt look after them properly some with different fathers and expect the state to pay. If you canβt afford to look after yourself, you donβt deserve to have a child. Some people canβt have the one thing that want most which is a baby .
As much as I dislike Jo frost I do question these families. I mean why go TV tk admit you can't parent. And why keep on popping them out if you can't cope.
Jerseydrew my point exactly. I like Jo and her no nonsense way of discipline which does not involve corporal punishment, shouting or belittling.
A new clip is on YouTube saying a father was caught belting (literally with a belt) a child after shutting himself and child in a bedroom with no hidden cameras. She has had to report to child services but it's in Georgia where it is legal to hit a child. This one was a special needs 5 year old.
Trash TV at its best, some people don't deserve to have children, discipline, boundaries, rules and respect are the building blocks required
I want a big family. But its my purpose, dream and always been my passion to have children. I have a little boy at the moment and cant wait for baby 2.
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