Would You Tell Tales?
Other
A friend has become involved with a guy very quickly and after only a few weeks he has moved in. Long story short....It has become evident that he is an alcoholic and while she is at work he is drinking up to a bottle of whiskey per day and hiding bottles. He is on long term sick due to an illness but it now appears he is only working in the office and teaching/ training as he is a tanker driver!
Apparently they have random alcohol testing so why has he not been found out? He argues and flounces out if she says anything, driving his car while paralytic! She won't listen to advice but I am livid that he is risking the lives of other road users and will be back driving tankers soon......what would you do?
oh gosh thats a hard one to tackle,I dont really know what to suggest here but hope someone else can advise you.
I have strong views on this one so apologies to anyone I offend. A vehicle is a mode of transport - it is also a weapon. I would shop him without a second thought. It is the only way he will get help and, clearly, he is incapable of making the right decision - he needs his licence confiscated before he kills someone.
This is exactly how I feel but I am not sure exactly where he works or even his full name. If I start asking questions it may be too obvious. Although I regard this person as a friend she is more of a work colleague and has obviously needed to talk about the situation.
I have been as forthright and informative as I can be (I was married to an abusive alcoholic). I have even told her to chuck him out until he sorts himself out as she is no longer happy and doesn't know what she will go home to every night.
I definitely feel intervention is required when he returns to driving at work, I just feel they should be checking him more often given his record.
Lynibis I have always felt this strongly about drinking and driving and it sounds very much like your colleague wants the matter taken out of her hands because she is unable to make that decision. (I feel very sorry for her) I lost a sister-in-law and her best friend almost two years ago because of a texting driver. Nobody passes a driving test with a beer in their hand or using a hand held phone - end of story. I would ask for advice at your local police station or the Drinkaware's online site.
angemski thanks for the advice, I think I will have to do that as I am getting quite cross and would feel complicit if I ever found out he had killed or injured someone. It is awful your family went through that and so bad that we place our lives daily in the hands of selfish people who do operations, fly planes, drive vehicles etc.
OMG report him anonymously. When you know he's driving, report his license to the police and tell them you saw him driving erratically and nearest road. They will pick him up! You don't have to leave your name or anything. This is so dangerous!! I would tell his job (if u know where he works) anonymously that he is drunk at work too.
It seems the general consensus. He isn't actually presenting as drunk at work but must still be over the limit when driving in next morning. Drinking gone midnight and in work before 6a.m.
He seems to have carte blanche to enter and leave as he likes and texted her one morning ' just arrived at work darling xx' but when she popped in about 9.30am to pick up something he was sitting indoors with a glass of whiskey in hand!
I am probably saying far too much but she doesn't use this site.
Lynibis Just imagine if he was driving and he was to hit someone you know. This guy might think he is in control but just the fact that he hides his drinking means he's not. He needs help. If you don't know him and you can't help him then you need to tell someone who can. And if that means he gets arrested first then so be it. At least he won't be dead or worse killed someone.
If you know he is drinking a bottle of spirits a day and you know he is driving give that information along with his registration number, home address and place of work (if you know them) to the police and let them take care of things. It isn't telling tales it is possibly saving lives.
You'll never forgive yourself if you don't and he kills or injures someone.
If you fear repercussions DON'T... I don't think the police will even want to know who you are. They'll just say thanks... leave it with us.
Drink & drive is the most drangerous for everyone so it shouldn’t be followed by others .You can advise the person so gently to stop the driving in road while having the drinks otherwise inform the officers to take the necessary actions to prevent it
I do not know the man and have met him just once. I do not think alcoholics would take notice of anyone telling them to stop drinking and driving, especially a stranger. Alcoholics can't just stop they need help and rarely think they need it.
Do as you feel best but be warned, you'll likely be the loser when your friend sides with her partner!
You are right but if I did anything it would be anonymously as I could end up on the receiving end of a mouthful, or worse, from him!
Think you have. A duty of care to report him to the police if you have evidence of this
it could end up fatal
and i wouldn’t want to ithinking
what if I said somerhing
I would report the car make, model, colour & licence plate (& vicinity of the car) to the police, when you know he is actually driving the car - no excuses - don't drink and drive.
I am going to make some sort of report in view of all these comments but have been warned by family that the police will not want to know or take notice until a crime is committed. Also I have no idea when he is driving as I live nowhere near them. I am so with everyone on here as I am practically teetotal myself.
LynibisPerhaps you could make the report anonymously, maybe this will (??) help https://www.police.uk/information-and-advice/reporting-crime/
Isn't there an anonymous crime stoppers site for reporting things that you suspect or know?
Alcoholics do not realize that they drink a lot, because it is normal to them.... But one bottle of whiskey a day? He spends a fortune on the brew...he could make a whiskey company lol..
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