How Do Get over a Breakup?
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A friend of mine has just broken up with he husband. They have been together 7 years and married for 2. He came home the other day and said to her ‘I don’t love you anymore’ and left. I am trying to support her but need more advice. Can you help?
She will be grieving for her relationship maybe a councillor or if theres a local group where she can talk to people with similar problems
Imnotcheap Thank you for your advice, I will look to see what groups are around before asking her, once I have information I will pass it on.
My break up in my 30s was particularly painful but all I really wanted to do was keep pouring my heart out to someone who would listen. It takes a lot of patience and kindness to be a listening ear and it may mean months of soul searching as she will not be able to understand what has happened, especially if it was sudden and she had no clue.
I would bet there is another woman involved because men rarely leave their home unless they have got their feet under another table. My divorce solicitor said in years of practice only one man had left his wife purely due to being unhappy whereas the majority of women initiated divorce because they were miserable. Men take an average of 7 weeks to begin dating after death/divorce, where women take an average of 7 months.
I wouldn't give advice initially, until she has her head in the right place, once tired of the new woman he will possibly be home with his tail between his legs, but she will be a fool to take him back.
Lynibis Wow, you are well informed. Sorry to hear it happened to you. I totally agree with about not taking him back but it’s still raw and it can be the easy answer although probably never the best. Thanks for your reply, really helpful.
My advice is listen but don't contribute. There is a remote chance that the split is temporary and they will reunite. If you've in any way voiced your opinion about what a rotter he is then that's all your friend will remember. Listen to her ranting and just nod.
My advice would be to listen to her, let her rant as much as she wants and just be supportive. It will take her time and if she has someone there to support her it will make it a little easier.
It takes time. You’ll go through a period of grief before you probably see the silver lining. Just be there for her when she needs you, and just lend your ears and offer your shoulders to cry on. But obviously, if it gets to much, don’t be afraid to say it - you don’t want to get too affected by it
hspexy I consider myself a good listener and will do my best. Thank you for your advice especially about still looking after myself.
go onto youtube and type in Mathew Hussey. His videos have gotten me through every break up and his advice is so uplifting and memerable i have taken it with me.
I left my husband in my 30’s but I wasn’t sad so I honestly don’t know how it feels to have your heart broken (I was with him from being 17 so was my first love) however even though it was my choice to leave I still needed time to adjust and process everything and I don’t think anyone could have made that easier apart from I had amazing family and a few close friends who helped me get back on my feet when I moved out and got my own place, they listened to me rant on for hours and they helped me with my kids as I was suddenly a single parent. So I’d say the best thing you can do is be a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on until she starts to get over it and move on. I think it’s lovely that you care enough to ask this question you are clearly a really good friend and that is hard to come by these days
Thank you for your advice. They have no children together which I think personally is a good thing and she has the house but will need help to stay in it. Hopefully one of other friends maybe able to move in short term to help financially. But overall I am getting on, just listen which sounds the best advice.
Book a good holiday and enjoy yourself if it's meant to be plus there's always someone better looking for you
My husband came home and after a row told me he no longer loved me after 30 years. He wants to sell the house and make me homeless and my son (who is an adult) but still lives at home. I dont know if he is having a breakdown but after a week still feels the same. I am so hurt and this is making me ill.
I spilt with my husband of 16 years last year it will be a year on the 25th April since he moved out. I didn’t know how I would cope with two Special needs children and all the financials myself. Just be there for her and tell her you are there for her. I was absolutely heart broken but had to keep going for my two boys. I just wanted someone to talk to and be there and listen to me rant. I have now brought him out if the house and remortgaged. It just takes time. Now im actually stronger but still have down days. But having friends around me is a massive support.
My partner of 4yrs (living separately) I'm 49 & he's 53 told me out the blue 'he didn't think he felt the same about me anymore' heartbroken is an understatement. That was last August & I'm still grieving for him, I miss him so much & still don't have closure. When it's such a shock, no words can describe how you feel. I feel I'm never gonna get over him. My daughter has seen how badly it has affected me so put me on list for councelling which starts next week so all I can say is lovely ladies you are all truly wonderful people x
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