What's the Appropriate Boundary for Grandparents and Grandchildren?
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I read this article and thought the world has gone mad, when you have a new baby you normally happy for any help. Not taking exception when a four month old cried when his grandmother changed his nappy.
She wrote: ‘I’m very keen on consent and protecting my baby’s privacy and prefer that only myself and my partner are the ones to change DS nappy (six months).
‘Obviously, I understand if we’re not available due to nursery eventually or if someone else is babysitting then I’m happy for someone else to do it however this has not yet been the case.’
I think she his using her child as a way to get back at what she described as her ‘overbearing mother-in-law’ and how upsetting this must be for the grandparents, it's definitely away of alienating them. What are your thoughts?
metro.co.uk/2023/03/28/mum-bans-grandparents-from-changing-sons-nappies-18518186/
I read about this too. My son sometimes cried when getting his nappy changed. I just reassured him whilst changing him and tried to distract him. I didn't stop changing him as the woman in the article says she does.
I understand she wants to set some boundaries with her child, a lot of parents do, but I personally don't see the harm in the Granny changing him. Yes she could have maybe asked her permission but I imagine her mother in law thought she was being helpful.
I know when our son was young I was grateful for any help, no matter how small.
MrsCraig I think the majority of people would agree with you and a blanket ban due to "privacy" is definitely going to cause friction in the family .
beccatavender I agree that it will cause friction. I have never told my mother or mother in law that they couldn't do something in relation to my son.
It sounds like the mother has control issues to be honest and privacy is just an excuse. Most parents are happy to receive help with young children, especially from close family.
Midnightflower I know when I had my son, I was happy for any help, changing a nappy isn't the most pleasant thing in the world. I personally think it's a power play, especially as she seems to be OK with a non relative doing it.
But then I got on with my mother in law, although saying that I didn't let her babysit on her own, but that because I felt it was unfair as she was in her 70s and a young baby is hard work
But she could look after him and hand him back anytime she wanted to, which was really helpful as I could get on with housework when she minded the baby.
While it's great the grandparents are dodging that bullet of not changing a dirty nappy. Really
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